I Do

    Given that we have blazed through summer a.k.a. wedding season it seems appropriate to write briefly on this topic. I recently attended the wedding of my Tangeni sister Tankia (pictured left).  It was a fabulous wedding and I was reminded of the joys of true love.  The bride and groom were geeked with love, and those who stood with them at the alter shared their heartfelt words of support at the reception. Despite high divorce rates, I will say this is couple not is an exception. Many people have been happily married for a few days or many years. I want this some day, but recognize that it is far more than a ring and a wedding. As an unmarried woman I have been in frequent reflection of the huge commitment that comes with this union. There is sunshine and rain, heartache and pain, and just because you have someone lying next to you at night doesn’t mean you won’t ever be lonely. As one woman shared in her interview it took her 16 minutes to get married and if it had been with wrong man it could have been a lifetime of hell. Lucky for her, it was with the right man….but she had a great point.
    In addition to married women I am interviewing single women, divorced women, widowed women, and women who have life long unions with other women. I will be bold and prematurely assume that the common take home message from all of these interviews will be, “If you're going to have a life partner, it’s got to be with the right person and you’ve got to be committed.”
    With all of this in mind I encourage women, and challenge our society, to celebrate marriage and singleness. Enjoy whichever state you are in and be open to the tremendous love and learning of yourself and others that can be found there.

Lessons Learned

Some of the things I learned from my first interview I realize could be applied to any other new thing One may try in their life.  This is by no means an exhaustive list so feel free to comment to add others!

• Be humble
• Try things for the first time with those believe in you enough that they can look past their momentary judgment of you…remembering that in general you have your shit together even if you have had weeks, months, or perhaps even years to prepare for this moment and still can’t get it exactly right
• Accept the moment and the process
• Schedule twice as much time to accomplish the task than you originally anticipate
• Schedule 10x (literally) the amount of time afterward than originally intended to process and digest what just happened (you may be so energized that you’ll want to stay up all night so plan accordingly for the next day)
• Thank all parties involved
• Be open to changing your process for the next time you do such a task 
• Make sure the environment is comfortable (seating, room temp, water/bathroom breaks, etc) you don’t need any added stress or distractions
• Tell yourself “well done” for doing something for the first time, and maybe even something no one else has ever done before!
• Do it again making all necessary changes from the lessons you learned

Better People

 India Arie's Better People just played on my iTunes genius mix.  I love her but to be honest I typically skip this track.  However tonight as I was working on the project I heard it in a different way.  The 30/30 Project is all about me talking to older people, sharing the information, to become a "better people." Or at least a more informed people which in my opinion increases the potential for greatness.

The interviews are starting and I'm more than excited to say the least. Surprisingly there is a part of me that is a bit nervous, but I have to remind myself all I want to do is talk to women and learn from them as I have all my life.  Although I have gotten a lot of support and my vision of the 30/30 Project has grown, I am striving to not loose sight of its original design and purpose. 

The 30/30 Project Facebook Page has been running well despite my initial battles.  Now I'm considering trying to incorporate the blog for lengthier posts as it seems fit.  Just like life it's all part of a fabulous process!

Find Me on Facebook

I finally did it!  The 30/30 Project is officially on Facebook.  I've created a page that I'm hoping all of you will become fans of.  I received insight that it is best to reach those that I am trying to target through Facebook versus a blog.  With that said, I will  be posting on the blog from time to time, but will use the fan page as a means for people to follow the project with daily posts.  Thanks to those who have been following the project here and I hope to see you on Facebook soon too.  Click here to check it out!

First Focus Group

The Career & Education Focus Group took place this weekend and provided me with a great deal of insight relating to the project as well as personally.  We all agreed that this is a topic we would like to learn more about from women with more life experience than us.  Some women expressed interest in making a career change, while others are considering going back to school, and so on.  We came up with an extensive list of questions that will help me guide the interviews.

I was grateful to receive constructive feedback for future groups, and was pleased that all who participated found it beneficial.  There was a general agreement that it was nice to have a time and place to share thoughts and experiences, and to meet others that have similar situations or questions relating to their career and education. 

Thank you to those who participated!  The next group will focus on Family & Children.  For more information be sure to check out the project website.

Not A Crisis

As I mentioned in a previous post I have started reading Midlife Crisis at 30.  The book very interesting, and in someways very similar to the work I am hoping to do.  However unlike this book I do not have the perspective that I, or other young women like me, are at a place of crisis.  Quite the contrary really.  To me this is a time when I have much behind me that has positioned me in a place to boldly and thoughtfully approach the years ahead.  Sure with opportunity and options there can be pressure which is can be coupled with stress, but by no means do I personally consider this to be a crisis. 

The first 30/30 Project Focus Group is taking place tomorrow and will be focusing on Careers & Education.  I will be interested to hear the perspective of other young women on these topics, as well as their perspective on the idea of a midlife crisis at 30. 

Almost There

This image may be a bit dramatic, but least I'm beginning to find some humour in my social network struggles.  It's also partially a shout out to one of my good friends back home who coached me through my Facebook woes this evening.  She is officially my number one fan!  I'm one step closer to launching the page although I'm not entirely sure it's set up the best way to attract fans yet.  I had some additional offers of assistance so hopefully I'll be at the top of the mountain soon.

Facebook Frustration

Those of you that know me well know that I have had a resistance to jumping on board with Facebook and similar networks.  Personally I still do not wish to join, but after great consideration I have humbly accepted that it is indeed amongst the best ways to spread word about the project.  However last night I was up way too late trying to get it done.

Over the weekend my 22 year old cousin patiently showed me the ropes of this popular site.  I thought I would easily be able to come back home and cross the project over to the social network world.  Wrong.  I tirelessly activated and deactivated the account out of fear that I hadn't done it right.  Clearly I realized I still needed some help, and felt as though I was the only person in my generation who was clueless to such things. In total frustration I called my boyfriend to vent.  He is very positive and great for seeking the good in bad situations. Our conversation was helpful in this way, and I had to laugh inside when he offered, "Isn't there some help number you can call?"  The irony that in a world that boasts the glories of virtual communication, sometimes we still need the human connection and that voice to really help us get what we want. With that being said, it is my goal today to get a tutorial from someone or to find that number!

New Support

Last night I attended a kick off dinner for the Women's Leadership Mentoring Program (WLMP).  I was recently accepted to this collaborative program, of Chicago Women in Philathropy (CWIP) and the Chicago Chapter of the Younger Women's Leadership Task Force (YWTF), designed to provide mentoring relationships between emerging and established professionals. It was a wonderfully invigorating evening and my mentor and I are great match.  We had no problem talking nonstop!  I am excited and honored for the opportunity to grow professionally while learning from her over the next year through this competitive program.  An added benefit is also becoming a part of a new phenominal network of professional women!

The evening also led to gaining a great deal of support for the 30/30 Project!  My mentor is very intrguied to learn more about the project, as were board members of the YWTF.  They discussed with me various ways that we may be able to collaborate and expand the reach of the project to people beyond my current network.  Their shared enthusiasm for the potential of the 30/30 Project was thrilling.  Especially considering YWTF is a national network of women!

Stay tuned I hope to have more to share on this soon.  In the meantime visit the Chicago Chapter YWTF website to see some of the clear connections between their work and the 30/30 Project.

You Don't Have To Take My Word For It

I don't plan to come with a full technicolor animated review like the all time favorite Reading Rainbow, but I have created a Related Readings slide show!  As a part of the 30/30 Project I am doing some reading, and I thought I would share some of the books on the blog so others can join me.   Those currently featured are about turning 30.  Simply click on the books featured to order them through Amazon.

 If anyone reads any of the books with me please post your reflections on the blog, and if you have suggestions of other books to explore let me know.    One might say it can serve as a virtual book club of sorts.  If anyone has an interest in partnering with me to create local 30/30 Project Book Clubs I would love to see this happen!

Unfortunately I cannot reasonably take on book clubs alone at the moment. As I'm sure many women will share in the interviews, for many women have already told me before, we must learn the limits of what we can reasonably take on and manage in our lives.  With that said, until I hear from someone I will have to see if a virtual one will do!   

I'm currently reading Midlife Crisis at 30 by Lia Macko and Kerry Rubin so take a look.....

Inspiring Weekend

This weekend has provided inspiration in many ways but for the moment I will focus on it being a lesson in just doing something.  With a bit of guilt about leaving laundry and a desk piled with papers at home I decided to quit mulling over it and just take a weekend and go visit my family.  As my aunt spoke of my younger cousin this afternoon she talked about how they shared the blessing, and potential curse, of getting an idea about something and wanting to do it right away.  An email from one of my mentors, received today, cautioned me to not to spend so much time talking about what I'm going to do that you don't actually do it. Now if all this isn't enough, in reflecting on this idea of just doing something for a blog post, I recalled that the pastor referenced Nike in his sermon this morning.  My aunt and mentor I get, but from the pulpit.....for real?!  Now that's funny, and clearly I get the message about just doing something.

All of this is speaking to me and I'm going to try my best to listen.  I grew up in a home that valued process, thinking, talking.  I am thankful for this, and in many of areas of my life I think it creates a proper balance to my relatively driven personality.  However I think when it comes to this project I needed the message of just doing something that I heard and observed this weekend.  There are enough ideas floating in my head and support relating to the 30/30 Project that I cannot let time slip by due to a lot of thinking, talking, and processing rather than just doing.  Don't get me wrong I still value and recognize the importance of processing.  However I think in general this project has already pushed me in a lot of ways to launch myself into the idea of just doing, and I need to keep that momentum.

This weekend gave me a clearer sense that even within the process there is always room for immediate and constant action.  For the 30/30 Project this blog is an avenue where such action can take place.  Now, for all the subtle and clear messages I was given this weekend I am honoring them by not thinking too hard about it and I'm just posting this message. Perhaps as you read it you may consider that thing in your life that you should just do.

Focus Groups

In holding fast to my social work roots I have decided to hold a series of focus groups prior to conducting the interviews with the women.  It is my hope that this will do a few things:

1. Provide me with valuable insight into what others hope to learn from the interviews and whatever potential publication the 30/30 Project should produce.
   
2. Allow for a greater sense of connection to the 30/30 Project for those who are following.
   
3. Create more structure to the entire process.

For those of you that know me well you know that I function best on a schedule.  By incorporating various focus groups throughout the project there will be dates in place that will naturally help guide the long term goal.  At least that's the plan, clearly this is all a work in progress! I am also realizing that I need to have an organized way to get input on what not only I, but others, want to know about life at 30 and beyond.

My target audience for the 2010 Spring Focus Groups is women ages 27 to 33, although exceptions can clearly be made.  If you are interested in participating please visit the 30/30 Project website for more information.

Welcome

Can any of you relate to having the sense that some things are worth taking risks for? With a nudge from beloved people in my life I have decided through this project I will take new strides into the virtual world. One may consider this a risk for me. My absence and slight resistance toward the social media world could likely be a strong indicator that blogging and maintaining a website will be new to me. However, I want you and many others to interact with and follow the 30/30 Project. Clearly letters and phone calls weren't going to make that happen. So, welcome and thank you for visiting the blog. Please sign up as a follower and let me know your thoughts on the 30/30 Project. I'm excited and will post updates along the way!

The Project

I consider myself to be no different than most 27-year-old women. I am excited about my personal and professional future, and believe that I am the catalyst of both. However as I bask in the independence and anticipation of young adulthood I realize there are so many things yet to learn. As a young woman I want to learn, from other women, about money, health, relationships, spirituality, family, career choice, identity, image, the list goes on. Thus the 30/30 Project comes into play. This project started in October 2009 and will end in April 2012. During these 30 months I will interview 30 women, seeking inspiration and insight from them and their life experiences as I approach my 30th birthday. It is my way of taking a proactive approach to my destiny by learning from those who have gone before me. I will log my experience here on the 30/30 Project blog and will publish clips about the women, the interviews, and ongoing information about the project on the 30/30 Project website. I look forward to having all of you with me on my journey to 30!