WE'VE MOVED!

Thank you for visiting.  I have started a new 30/30 Project blog on Tumblr which you can follow here!

I Do

    Given that we have blazed through summer a.k.a. wedding season it seems appropriate to write briefly on this topic. I recently attended the wedding of my Tangeni sister Tankia (pictured left).  It was a fabulous wedding and I was reminded of the joys of true love.  The bride and groom were geeked with love, and those who stood with them at the alter shared their heartfelt words of support at the reception. Despite high divorce rates, I will say this is couple not is an exception. Many people have been happily married for a few days or many years. I want this some day, but recognize that it is far more than a ring and a wedding. As an unmarried woman I have been in frequent reflection of the huge commitment that comes with this union. There is sunshine and rain, heartache and pain, and just because you have someone lying next to you at night doesn’t mean you won’t ever be lonely. As one woman shared in her interview it took her 16 minutes to get married and if it had been with wrong man it could have been a lifetime of hell. Lucky for her, it was with the right man….but she had a great point.
    In addition to married women I am interviewing single women, divorced women, widowed women, and women who have life long unions with other women. I will be bold and prematurely assume that the common take home message from all of these interviews will be, “If you're going to have a life partner, it’s got to be with the right person and you’ve got to be committed.”
    With all of this in mind I encourage women, and challenge our society, to celebrate marriage and singleness. Enjoy whichever state you are in and be open to the tremendous love and learning of yourself and others that can be found there.

Lessons Learned

Some of the things I learned from my first interview I realize could be applied to any other new thing One may try in their life.  This is by no means an exhaustive list so feel free to comment to add others!

• Be humble
• Try things for the first time with those believe in you enough that they can look past their momentary judgment of you…remembering that in general you have your shit together even if you have had weeks, months, or perhaps even years to prepare for this moment and still can’t get it exactly right
• Accept the moment and the process
• Schedule twice as much time to accomplish the task than you originally anticipate
• Schedule 10x (literally) the amount of time afterward than originally intended to process and digest what just happened (you may be so energized that you’ll want to stay up all night so plan accordingly for the next day)
• Thank all parties involved
• Be open to changing your process for the next time you do such a task 
• Make sure the environment is comfortable (seating, room temp, water/bathroom breaks, etc) you don’t need any added stress or distractions
• Tell yourself “well done” for doing something for the first time, and maybe even something no one else has ever done before!
• Do it again making all necessary changes from the lessons you learned

Better People

 India Arie's Better People just played on my iTunes genius mix.  I love her but to be honest I typically skip this track.  However tonight as I was working on the project I heard it in a different way.  The 30/30 Project is all about me talking to older people, sharing the information, to become a "better people." Or at least a more informed people which in my opinion increases the potential for greatness.

The interviews are starting and I'm more than excited to say the least. Surprisingly there is a part of me that is a bit nervous, but I have to remind myself all I want to do is talk to women and learn from them as I have all my life.  Although I have gotten a lot of support and my vision of the 30/30 Project has grown, I am striving to not loose sight of its original design and purpose. 

The 30/30 Project Facebook Page has been running well despite my initial battles.  Now I'm considering trying to incorporate the blog for lengthier posts as it seems fit.  Just like life it's all part of a fabulous process!

Find Me on Facebook

I finally did it!  The 30/30 Project is officially on Facebook.  I've created a page that I'm hoping all of you will become fans of.  I received insight that it is best to reach those that I am trying to target through Facebook versus a blog.  With that said, I will  be posting on the blog from time to time, but will use the fan page as a means for people to follow the project with daily posts.  Thanks to those who have been following the project here and I hope to see you on Facebook soon too.  Click here to check it out!

First Focus Group

The Career & Education Focus Group took place this weekend and provided me with a great deal of insight relating to the project as well as personally.  We all agreed that this is a topic we would like to learn more about from women with more life experience than us.  Some women expressed interest in making a career change, while others are considering going back to school, and so on.  We came up with an extensive list of questions that will help me guide the interviews.

I was grateful to receive constructive feedback for future groups, and was pleased that all who participated found it beneficial.  There was a general agreement that it was nice to have a time and place to share thoughts and experiences, and to meet others that have similar situations or questions relating to their career and education. 

Thank you to those who participated!  The next group will focus on Family & Children.  For more information be sure to check out the project website.

Not A Crisis

As I mentioned in a previous post I have started reading Midlife Crisis at 30.  The book very interesting, and in someways very similar to the work I am hoping to do.  However unlike this book I do not have the perspective that I, or other young women like me, are at a place of crisis.  Quite the contrary really.  To me this is a time when I have much behind me that has positioned me in a place to boldly and thoughtfully approach the years ahead.  Sure with opportunity and options there can be pressure which is can be coupled with stress, but by no means do I personally consider this to be a crisis. 

The first 30/30 Project Focus Group is taking place tomorrow and will be focusing on Careers & Education.  I will be interested to hear the perspective of other young women on these topics, as well as their perspective on the idea of a midlife crisis at 30.